Bright Lights
by Handwritten
Summary: A proposal. What do you say when you're not sure? Namixas oneshot.


**Bright Lights**

* * *

Have you ever looked into a bright light? Staring, unblinking, until you feel your eyes water, and your vision is all screwed up.

And once you look away, whenever you blink, the outline flashes against your vision. Again and again. Gradually growing fainter, until you can't even picture it in your head.

Like a good memory. You relive it in your head over and over...until you can barely taste it on your tongue. Growing dimmer and dimmer.

Then it's gone.

* * *

"I want you to marry me, Naminé."

I fell silent, staring at him over my plate of food. His blue eyes were dark and serious. He held out that small velvet box - which stood for so much. He waited for my answer.

I couldn't give one. My mouth opened and closed. I could see how his knuckles were turning white, and the silence grew even more deafening. Suppressing. My breath was caught in my chest, and a lump grew in my throat. I fought it back.

"I can't, Roxas." What meant to come out as apologetic sounded distant – even to my own ears. His face fell. He was so handsome, even as I could see his heart breaking. He nodded, his posture and demeanor fallen.

Suddenly I blinked, and he was gone. I was sitting alone in my dark apartment, with only one placemat and set of cutlery on the table. One empty wine glass.

I felt cold even though the heat was cranked up as high as it would go. I felt empty, and alone.

Roxas wasn't there, and I let the feeling slowly course through me.

* * *

_Why hadn't I said yes?_ I wondered – countless times – after that fateful night. There were a dozen reasons I could have said. He wasn't the right guy. I wasn't the right girl. We weren't ready. _I _wasn't ready.

That was the only one that made sense.

I was ashamed of my reaction. My absolute inability to look him in the eye. Even after he took my hand, pressing it briefly against his lips.

"I understand." Was all he said. Then he grabbed his jacket, and left. As soon as he was gone, I wanted him back. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck, and laugh and cry at the same time. I wanted to tell him _Yes_, and kiss him until I grew dizzy. I wanted him to put the ring on my finger. I hadn't looked at it, but I was sure it was beautiful.

Instead, I turned to my bedroom, and forced myself to close my eyes in a pitiful resemblance of sleep.

* * *

That week, Roxas didn't call. And I didn't even look at the phone.

I went for walks.

Up and down every street I knew of – and some I had never even considered. At any times. Sometimes in the heat of the day, or amongst the people who only came out at night.

I love the night the most. The lights. Lamps along the road lit and approachable. I'm drawn to them, and spend my nights standing near them on chilly corners. Garbage is swept past by the wind, and strangers follow in unreadable patterns.

"_Hey – you're early!"_

I look around, but it's empty and quiet. My hands are cold, and my lips are chapped.

"_How about a hug, huh?"_

My head tilts up, and I fix my stare at the glaring light. It hurts.

"_I want you to marry me, Naminé."_

* * *

I blink. The light flashes, and everything else grows black.

I'm sitting at the table – the candle lit, and my heart warm. He's sitting across from me, his heart splayed out in front of me.

"I-I'll never..." I look around, finally glancing back at him. My throat catches. He's beautiful, with his eyes full of love and a hopeful smile playing on his lips.

My knees shake, but I don't feel nervous. "I'll never leave you, Roxas." I know he wouldn't ask...unless he meant it.

He stands, and is taking my hand, pulling me to my feet. "Is that a yes?" His voice is shaking, just like his hands. I nod, feeling warm tears building.

"Yes." I nod again, and then he's holding me in his arms, and when I blink, nothing changes.

* * *

_since i wasn't able to update the T&C this weekend, i decided to publish this.  
written on a whim. wouldn't it be convenient if we could see which way both paths went before choosing?_


End file.
